By Lacy Schoen
You’ve been there. You’re at a restaurant with a gaggle of girlfriends that you haven’t seen in forever. You need to get a photo for posterity - or more importantly, a mobile upload for Instagram. You hand your device/phone/email/video/you tube/twitter/texting/camera/feed-the-dog and the kitchen sink device to the waiter and ask, “Can you take a picture?”
Then you wait. One - - two - - three...(waiting)…four - - five - - six (still waiting) . Finally, snap-flash – proof that the long lost gal pals united! The job is done. BUT - the job isn’t done, is it? Nope. It’s not.
If you’re a Bestie (one of those wonderful women in the world that supports other women) you know the drill. It happens any time a group of females fashion a photo. Everyone wants to review the shot. Then one of us blurts, “OH NO! Try again. My triple-chin!” Every Bestie understands this emergency. Instantly, the devise is hurled back to photographer. There is no question. The process starts over.
This pose - snap - review ritual continues until every gal pal is pleased.
It’s fascinating. Have you noticed that most random photographers have our number? We must look anxious, or maybe exacting, because they hand the device back and hang out with anticipation to see if the picture has group approval. They actually WAIT for chick central to pass the photo around so that each fem can scrutinize their worst feature, and accept or reject the shot.
It’s important to know that there can be several reasons why a dame rejects her photo. It’s also important to know that every reason is legit. It’s not just a matter of closed eyes anymore. The blinding five-pulse flash has mitigated that problem. No….valid picture delete requests have expanded. Digital cameras have allowed us to insist that only a rockin’ image will do. So, the veto list becomes endless….“my bangs are messy.” “I’m washed out.” “I’m slumping.” “My forehead is wrinkled.” “I have crumbs on my sweater.” “My nose looks big.” “My necklace is crooked.” Or the dreadful and ever popular….”I look fat.” Horrid! Delete.
For my Bestie, it’s always that her smile isn‘t right. I’m patient, but I’m always like, “Whaah?!” I mean, hasn’t she had 50 years to figure this out? Practice in a mirror! Hey, don’t laugh. I’ve done it. I’m a ham, and love to have my picture taken. I’ve made it a point to get my smile right. I know how every facial muscle feels when my smile rocks. I call it saving the photographer precious minutes. Others call it narcissistic. Pfft! Whatever.
What’s my photo veto? My arms. If I’m wearing a tank top, and my arms look big…DELETE! I mean it. It’s war if you don’t! And my Bestie always retorts, “Your arms DO NOT look big, for Pete’s sake.“ The point here is that we need not agree with our Bestie’s reason for the veto. All reasons are valid. You MUST delete upon request. Additional attempts must continue until all are happy. And, as we all know, this can take a good amount of time…
...which brings me to my next point - the amazing individuals that make this ritual possible. The fortitude that most random photographers exhibit is worth honorable mention. If you are the waiter or passer by that hangs out for this drill - you rock! You get gold stars, because you are not only cool, you are supporting woman‘s self esteem. You obviously realize that it‘s important that the photo reflect what WE feel is our best image, and that it is approved by ALL. No exceptions. If not approved - another attempt is mandatory. [Note to Besties - load your wallet with dollars. We need to start tipping these people. They are investing their precious time in our positive self-image.]
Yes, there are those times when a real wench - a female who is NOT a Bestie - wants her photo deleted. In this case, you MUST delete anyway. Why? Because she asked and you are a Bestie. A Bestie supports other women. You’re not a doormat, but you are a classy lady, and need to set the example. It’s the principle. Just remember, by setting the example, you may set her on the noble path to becoming a Bestie as well. And then, she’ll delete upon request. Not to be selfish, but this is good for all of us because we all want to look amazing. So be Bestie. Always delete.
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